Affection is when you see someone’s strengths; love is when you accept someone’s flaws. – Unknown
Are there times where you feel like you’ve compromised somewhere in life, and it leads you to be with the wrong partner? Having a spouse is important, but it’s incredible to think about how many people are with the wrong person.
You aren’t alone if that’s the case for you, but let’s talk about why you might want to consider re-thinking your relationship.
This article is not meant to tear apart happy couples, and if you’re thinking about splitting up, you likely have some work to do regardless of what’s written here.
You Only Live Once, So Make It Count
A running theme on this blog is the fact that death is inevitable and we only live once, so why would you spend this life with somebody you don’t truly love?
Happiness is the key to every successful and healthy relationship, and the right partner makes achieving that simple. We’ve all been on some bad dates or even been in some bad relationships, and there’s a reason why those are things we all want to actively avoid.
○ Be with Someone who makes you Happy: The Signs
The right spouse may appear almost immediately, and it could also take years. The important thing is that you’re willing to look for the “right person”, and not settle way too soon.
When you find a partner that you genuinely relate to, things are going to progress naturally. You won’t have to force the love, as it will come along gradually by itself.
> Look Into Their Eyes
When you look into your spouses’ eyes and feel tingly deep down inside, that’s a sure sign that you’re on the right path. When you can’t stop yourself from expressing feelings of love and wanting to spend time with them, what else is there to ask for?
> Spend More Time
When you willingly spend time with a partner and love every second of it, you can expect happiness to translate into everyday life.
While some people are stuck with abusive and lazy spouses, others are living in perfect harmony with the right person our universe seemingly hand-picked for them.
This leads us to the question, “did you settle?”.
○ Why Do So Many People Settle?
There are many reasons why people may settle in a relationship. For some, settling is a way to show love and commitment. For others, it seems like the best option at the time.
Settling may have been a conscious decision or might have been subconsciously influenced by family or friends. It might also happen because of how someone was raised or because of their past choices.
Many people are afraid of living and dying alone, even though death is a process that we all go through.
Regardless of how many people are around you, life will always be a personal and isolated experience. You should never let the fear of dying alone force you into a poor-quality relationship. Settling is not the answer to your loneliness, as you’re likely going to grow to resent your partner over time.
When you choose to settle, it’s much easier to get into a relationship but harder to maintain it (especially a healthy one).
Signs That You’re on the Right Track
○ They make you laugh, naturally
Successful relationships are about two people who are willing to make each other laugh.
A good spouse makes you laugh naturally. They do things that make you laugh, and they know exactly what you need in order to get a good chuckle.
If somebody is making you laugh naturally, hold onto them tight and don’t let go. Laughter is the key to almost all of our hearts, especially when the laughter is genuine.
Laughter is a natural healing mechanism as well and will bring you up during those “down days”.
○ They accept your flaws, not just your strengths
Finding the beauty in both strengths and weaknesses is what your perfect partner will do best.
They aren’t going to scold you when you’ve done something wrong, and they will applause you when you’ve shown off your strengths. Any partner that is willing to belittle you because of flaws is one you should avoid.
The healthiest relationships are built on a foundation of love and trust. If you have a partner who is willing to love both your flaws and strengths, you can expect to build a long and loving life with them.
When you wake up with bedhead, and they tell you you’re beautiful, it’s a clear-cut sign that you might be on the right track.
○ The physical aspect of your relationship is amazing
Physical intimacy is important in any relationship, regardless of where you’re from. If you can’t physically express yourself with your partner, how else are you supposed to experience each other truly?
The amazing thing about life is that we have an opportunity to experience so many different things, including the physical aspect of love. Having an amazing time in bed is not only a good sign, but it’s one of the more important ones.
If you can’t keep things fresh and entertaining when it comes to physical touch, the relationship is bound to grow stale at some point.
This doesn’t mean you need to go out and buy leather suits for each other, but if your partner is more than willing to express their love physically (hugging in public, holding hands while walking, etc.), you’re on pace to find a solid spouse.
○ You feel like you can build a family with them
The end goal here is to build a happy and healthy family.
Well, one thing you can take note of is if your potential partner is ready (or willing) to start a family. If they’re the breadwinner and have no problem supporting you financially, that’s even better!
They always seem to be actively listening. As long as your partner can provide you with what’s needed to build a family at some point and they’ve also expressed interest in it, you can date them with confidence.
If there are dark secrets about your family that you’ve kept hidden from the world, feeling comfortable enough to share them with your partner is a great sign.
When you don’t want to dig deep into the past and potentially dig up problems but are willing to do so for your partner, it means you understand that they care.
Having a partner that you can trust and rely on to help you is a must, and when you feel comfortable enough to share family/private secrets, it’s a telltale sign that you’ve found a “good one”.
○ You feel like together, you could change the world
Life is tough to take on by yourself, and the right partner will make you feel as if nobody can stop you.
If you want to change the world and make changes for the better, your partner should be supporting you every step of the way. Not only that, but you should feel like you can take on anything together.
When you feel more powerful alongside your partner, it’s an obvious sign that they could be the one for you.
When they empower you and allow you to exude confidence, there’s no better way to tell that they’re the perfect option. When the other person is emotionally aware and offers emotional intimacy, it can seem perfect.
Whether you’re an artist whose spouse constantly uplifts or an aid worker who works alongside your partner, there are many instances where a “power couple” can reign supreme together with ease.
Love Isn’t Something You Gamble On
Love is not something you gamble on. It’s not something you spend time on to see if it pays off. It’s an all-or-nothing game, where the stakes are your heart, and the cost of playing is your dignity.
When you engage in a relationship, you should never be afraid to express your feelings. It is good to let love grow naturally and see how things go. One of the most important things in any relationship is honesty and that includes being honest with yourself about what you want in life.
There are probably even friends who will tell you the same thing, referencing their personal experiences with their current partner.
If there’s one thing you’ve got to remember, it’s that settling does not always mean you’ll live an adequate life.
There are times when settling on the wrong partner will build a detrimental future and impact your family and friends. With that being said, taking control of your life can start with something as simple as finding an optimal partner.
In a relationship, there is no such thing as “the perfect person”. The only perfect person for you is the one who makes you happy. Happiness should always come before anything else in a relationship because it is one of the most important things in life.
The belief that a relationship is worth sacrificing your happiness for is a myth. There are many things you can do to improve your relationship with your partner without compromising yourself.