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It is vital to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence; it is not the triumph of heart overhead – it is the unique intersection of both. – David Caruso
Imagine yourself climbing a steep mountain – draining and requiring every fiber of your body even to manage a single step. Think of yourself a few steps left before that sweet success, but then something pulls you down – catapulting you to start from the ground once again.
The thing holding you back from reaching the pinnacle? Lack of mastery for your emotions.
Here are 10 effective ways to master your emotions and being the boss of your life.
The First Step: Developing and Integrating Self-Awareness
Picture yourself as a young toddler once again – naïve and innocent, just slowly discovering the wonders of the outside world.
When we were younger, we were still clueless as to why our parents would scold us when we would stay out in the sun too long or come home with dirt adorning the white shirt that our moms would make us wear was frustrating.
That is what the lack of self-awareness does to us: emotional turmoil.
Not only does being aware of our emotions and emotional response contribute to improving our emotional intelligence, but it also aids in helping us process and communicate those feelings in a way that promotes healthy life with desired outcome.
While to many, simply recognizing behavior or mood and labeling it for what it is may seem like child’s play. Still, it is the crucial first step of establishing non-self-destructive responses towards what we feel and, in turn, helps us build relationships that promote personal development and positive thinking.
The Second Step: Recognizing the Feelings and emotions of Others | Empathy
Psychology Today, the world’s largest mental health and behavioral science destination online, said that as individuals live facing consistent trauma, they can find themselves facing what they called as “compassion fatigue,”
Encapsulating the feeling of running on empty and worn out effects of an extensive burnout. And while cramped out in these negative feelings, we often disregard consideration for different perspectives of others.
Empathy may be regarded by most as a soft skill, and it is more than just kindness – it is the power of deeper understanding. Maybe the most straightforward definition we could give to empathy is discussing what is not: ego.
It is not focusing on yourself but rather on what others are experiencing. Not to be confused with sympathy, this critical life skill is about seeing things through the eyes of another person rather than getting caught up in your own emotions.
This opens our eyes to new perspectives for same situation.
Thus, empathy is the ability to comprehend and understand another person’s unpleasant feelings; emotional intelligence is the ability to manage your moods in the middle of that realization.
The Third Step: The Importance of Active Listening
How would you feel when you find yourself constantly talking about your day to someone who wasn’t paying attention? You’ll feel excluded, start questioning whether your thoughts and feelings are valid and start doubting your communication abilities.
That is why it is said that listening is the rarest and the most potent gift of leaders today.
In the modernized, tech-centered world we live in, active listening poses a difficulty due to the continuous rise in obstacles that hinder this from happening. Our biggest challenge with our communication these days is that we do not listen to understand.
Instead, formulate a response. Taking time to listen to others shows a high level of respect which is a foundation of healthy relationships.
Emotional intelligence involves knowing how to juggle your and others’ emotions without demeaning one or the other.
The ability to listen and genuinely participate is critical in maintaining solid relationships. Emotional intelligence and listening directly influence one another, so improving one will also improve the other.
The Fourth Step: The Art of Effective Communication
We, as individuals, communicate to express but also to understand. In this sense, emotional intelligence plays a crucial part in understanding and regulating one’s emotions and other people’s emotions, enabling effective communication to build confidence.
We really cannot begin to understand how to communicate effectively without emotional intelligence comes into play.
Emotional intelligence translates into being intrapersonal-savvy, relating to individuals of all walks of life, and considering their backgrounds and principles into solving problems and clearing out conflicts.
Practical, positive, well-thought-out oral and written communications allow you to manage disputes better, convey needs, influence people and develop social skills – all of which are components of emotional experiences.
The Fifth Step: The Power of Positivity
A single smile, even from a stranger you encounter walking down the street as you find your way to work or school, makes a difference in brightening up someone’s day.
Ever since the pandemic, we feel as though everything is going south for us, and that hope is slowly fading out.
In the midst of it all, we find ourselves admiring random acts of kindness, and it brings back that faith. That is how important positivity is in our lives.
Positive emotions not only help in lightening up our moods but also help us broaden our thought-action repertoire. These emotions are our internal encouragement signals that motivate individuals to engage in our environments and explore.
When we are open to new things, we broaden our horizons and grow – with our emotional intelligence growing with us.
The Sixth Step: Aim to Regulate, Not Repress
Humans are born to be emotional beings. Our life experiences include a wide range of positive and negative emotions on daily basis, often not fixated on just one.
These emotions drive our lives and can create havoc or peaceful life, depending on how we handle them to harness our full potential and serve as our navigating compass.
We are taught that our feelings are the root of all our problems, but our inability to regulate them stands as the actual troublemakers on our path causing low self-esteem.
As humans, you cannot master your emotions on the dial if only that easy. But you wouldn’t want to leave them running at maximum at all times or switch them off entirely either.
That is when human emotion regulation comes into play. It encompasses managing and responding to what we feel healthily effectively.
By this, you can practice emotional intelligence by practicing awareness, management, and expression of your emotions.
Regulation serves as a healthier approach towards handling feelings than repressing or suppressing them, which disables you to experience and express your emotions.
Suppressing emotions also invokes spirals of negativity outlook on emotional intelligence, which contests its very meaning and may lead to catastrophic effects in the long run.
The Seventh Step: Giving Yourself Space
We all have those moments when everything leaves us overwhelmed, and we want to shut off everything out.
It is inevitable when we live in a society of sheer pressure to succeed and the illusion of always being on top of our games, but it should not be like that at all.
When overwhelmed, often, people react carelessly and tend to express their emotions in a negative connotation than what they intend to.
When we give ourselves space, we take a step back from everything overpowering our rationality and reevaluate our actions. Getting some distance from intense feelings also helps you to get in control of your life again.
While you don’t want to ignore or avoid feelings altogether, it’s not a bad idea to distract yourself until you’re in a better position to deal with them. Just make sure you return to them. Distractions that are beneficial to your health are only brief.
The Eight Step: Being Open-Minded
One does not grow when stuck with what one is comfortable or familiar with. High emotional intelligence includes the healthy management of emotions and growing and developing as dynamic individuals.
To have an open mind entails the willingness to consider, entertain, and implement new and diverse topics that we encounter.
Having an open mind on a broad spectrum of concepts helps build connections with peers and develop better networks with different cultures, religions, genders, and much more.
This makes us easier to approach and present ourselves as someone who goes beyond understanding people.
The Ninth Step: Listening to Feedback
About the previous step, this essential action requires an open mind to properly consider and address whatever shortcomings or mistakes they may have made and make amends and efforts to correct these actions.
Being open to feedback means that you can take responsibility for your actions and be willing to improve communication with others by considering different perspective if needed.
To properly take criticism, one must first learn about their team members’ strengths and weaknesses, motivations and drivers, and communication style.
Recognizing that what works for one person may not work for another is where emotional intelligence comes in, allowing you to tailor your approach to the individual
The Tenth Step: Staying Calm Under Pressure
Stress is already a part of our daily grind as we go on with our daily lives, but it does not mean that you should ultimately let it get to you. This emotion is quite a heavy load to carry and takes a massive toll on your body.
It is critical to tackling stressful situations with a pleasant and calm attitude.
Tensions can quickly rise, especially when individuals are pressed for time, but staying calm and focused on finding possible solutions can help everyone reach their objectives – an essential tool in attaining emotional mastery.
Master Your Emotions
The ability to feel and express emotions is more vital than you may think. While emotions can be beneficial in both normal and professional life, they can harm your mental health and interpersonal connections when they go out of control.
This is our friendly reminder to always take care of your mind that takes care of everything else in our bodies. Remember that every moment is a choice, so choose to do it for growth. And we’re here to help you with that.
Find connection, build wealth, live authentically. This has been The Wealthful Mind. We’ll be seeing you next time!